I’m sitting at my computer wishing that I could find a column topic so compelling and so easy to write that I wouldn’t have to work hard at writing it.
That’s happened but it’s about as often as a blue moon.
It would be kind of like thawing out the turkey and wanting it cooked to perfection without spending a few hours in the oven.
It would be a lot like wanting to make Mom’s apple pie without peeling and coring six to eight apples.
It would be a lot like mixing chocolate chip cookie dough with real butter and not baking the cookies.
It would be a lot like spraying a stained blouse with Shout, adding laundry detergent and not filling the washing machine with water.
It would be a lot like spraying your furniture with dusting spray and not wiping it off.
It would be a lot like stopping at a gas station to fill up and not putting the nozzle in the gas tank.
It would be a lot like driving to work and deciding not to get out of the car.
It would be a lot like putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, leaving the toothbrush on the bathroom counter and walking away to get dressed.
Or maybe it would be like movie theater popcorn without butter, an ice cream cone without the ice cream, chocolate peanut clusters without the peanuts, a grilled cheese sandwich without the bread, pancakes with no syrup, pizza without mozzarella cheese, junk food without Twinkies, a broom without bristles, a Tootsie pop without the Tootsie roll inside, putting a stick of chewing gum in your mouth without removing the wrapper, or chicken that isn’t broasted.
Of course it could be like a billfold with no money when you’re hungry, or a wet snowfall without building a snowman, a parking lot without lines marking parking spots, a vending machine that won’t accept coins, an ATM with no cash, a carpenter without a hammer, a car without brakes, a football field with no end zones, diving into a swimming pool with no water, french fries without ketchup, or doughnuts without icing.
Then again, it would be like hope with no faith, a brain without a mind, or a heart without love.
But at this moment, it would be like writing a column without having fun.