Life is Not Fair ... I dare you to try it
My wife takes care of some kids during the day. When I was home, one of them asked me, “Opa (which is grandpa in German), can I help you do that?” I said, “Yes” and let him help. His brother immediately came along and said, “That is unfair that you do not let me help and do something!” He folded his arms and expressed his frustration all over his face. What he should have asked is, “Can you let me do something too, so I can help?”
Too often our reactions to situations and circumstances in life are like that young man. We just want something for us and see it from our perspective like he did. He only saw that he was being “cheated” by not being allowed to help. He never asked if he could help. There was something he could do. I was more than happy to let him help. He only saw it from where he was at. He did not even think to ask the right question. He did not know that I had other things and resources to give to him to take the frustration and pouting face away from him.
It is true — life is not fair. We normally want to at least get what we want. We look at things from how we see ourselves. Our experience and what we see others experiencing narrows our thinking. We just see, “Those are the options available for me. If I don’t get that or what the other person is getting, it is going to be unfair for me!”
When we are totally dependent on ourselves that’s all we’ve got. If we do not trust anyone else, we can’t expect anything else. What we are going to get or have, we need to work for. With life being unfair that can be frustrating, tough and cheat us. Others always seem to get more, more easily and without the frustration we experience. Trust me, that is not true. Life is not fair for all of us!
How do we get into the situation the young man in our home should have seen? There was someone there who had more resources. A person right there could give him what he was looking for. The “Opa” had much more insight, experience and power available. He was right there. All the young man needed to do was ask. Even more than he wanted was there for him. There was a perspective that I could share with him. After that he might have said, “I guess life is not that unfair after all.”
All of that is there for you and me. Here is the evidence and how you know it. No two people are exactly alike. Not even twins. Good thing, because it would really be an unfair world if there was anyone else who looked quite as ugly as I do. (Have tried to wipe that ugliness from my face, but nothing seems to help!) The wonderful thing is that the creator is one of infinite variety and creativity. He can do anything for each of us, just the way he created us uniquely.
OK, how is that going to happen? We often just look at the world around us and see the news that seems to be nothing but negative. We need to take a look inside and be willing to see and admit what there is. “There are mountain peaks in our souls that we cannot climb, there are ocean depths we cannot fathom, there are possibilities in our hearts that terrify us” and experiences whose pain still controls our reactions.
Are we willing to ask the person who is right there, “Please give us what we need?” It is the God of the universe. Are we willing to give him permission to give us the peace we need as we see the inner tumultuousness? Will we admit, that maybe he has more resources, a better perspective and more experiences than we have? He is not an “Opa!” He never will be! He is alive, all powerful and is present with His love. He wants us to be able to say, “Life is not fair, but I have it with such satisfaction that I can live it as if it is fair.”
I dare you to try it. You can get some help. Pay a visit to Faith Baptist Church and you can meet “Opa.” He will let you know, God loves you even more than he does!